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One pastor’s cringe-worthy advice about sex…

By September 24, 2012Blog


Groan.

Found at Christian Nightmares.

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Matthew Paul Turner

Author Matthew Paul Turner

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  • Kate says:

    Well, I guess we know that he’s completely ignorant to gay sex and probably isn’t a closet gay.

  • Marty says:

    Seriously, this was from a sermon? I don’t expect preachers to be all expository all the time, but this is like the worst youth group sex talk ever. Wow, young preacher. Next time stick to the sermon text. Just, just: Wow.

  • Kristin says:

    Sword fights! Are you kidding me?!

  • Karla says:

    Well, that was relevant. :p

  • Steve D says:

    I realize that he was being “hip” and “funny”. However, he came off as “uncool” and “ignorant”. Aside from the fact that carrots and donuts only relationship is that they are foods. It looked like he didn’t have a point to make, just a lot of bad, poorly informed jokes. For future reference, if you can’t say penis and vagina, you shouldn’t be giving the talk.

  • Jeff says:

    Douche factor of 10.

  • Bob Chapman says:

    I couldn’t click play after seeing “carrots and doughnuts.”

  • Ginger says:

    PLEASE tell me this is a lame stand-up comedy act at the local Zanies. Please?

  • Emma says:

    Humorous, sure, but that’s just bad advice. I thought this was just tacky. Although I did find the part where he said, “Don’t act holy in here. You’ll be on the outside lookin’ in,” to be rather resonant. While I despise his approach to discussing human sexuality, I thought those words really depicted what the church should look like: no one acting holier than they are, and being genuine in their struggles, seeking healing and sanctification from/in Jesus, a hospital for the broken, the sick people seeing the doctor.

    • Joe says:

      “Although I did find the part where he said, “Don’t act holy in here. You’ll be on the outside lookin’ in,” to be rather resonant.”
      Some kids my think the pastor is not going to believe that they are inexperienced; they may fabricate a story so they “fit in” with the group. The better the story the more they will be accepted.

  • Chris Hyde says:

    The scary thing is that this is what passes off as a “hip” church.

  • Katie says:

    This should be used in every seminary class as an example of what not to do. How repulsive.

  • J. Hall says:

    he didn’t even say anything, talked a lot, said nothing. don’t teach a subject that makes you, yourself uncomfortable.

  • Shane says:

    it’s amazing how much his preaching resembles that of a stand up comic routine, and just as tragic to tell the difference..

  • Karin says:

    It was like stand up comedy instead of preaching. Really bad stand up comedy…

  • That was crappy preaching and comedy in one shot.

  • Drewsef says:

    How, exactly, does a doughnut have sprinkles? I’m assuming body glitter…

    • Pam says:

      Let me introduce you to the term vajazzling. And I apologise in advance for letting you in on that particular strangeness.

  • travis says:

    I really dislike these figurative mottos for why homosexuality is a bad idea for everyone. Phrases like that do nobody any good, nor do they further the discussion productively. And maybe that’s the point.

  • Josh Stewart says:

    This kind of ignorance and prudery is pervasive in the church. But the worst part is the propagation of the myth of destinal monogamy. (There is a special donut out there just for you.)Considering the current divorce rates, our biology and infidelity.. Can we not see we are setting adolescents up for failure?

  • CindyC says:

    if your donut has sprinkles i think you should probably see a doctor.

  • Ben Thorp says:

    Let’s not make massive assumptions about the full content or quality of this particular church’s teaching on sex based on 2 minutes from 1 sermon. It’s supposed to be a moderately humourous “teaser”, I suspect.

  • I wish he had handed me $50 and a condom instead…

  • The fact that there is a congregation of people who are willing to sit through this on a regular, weekly basis makes me cringe way more than anything he said. Though, what he said made me cringe plenty. He’s the quintessential guy at the party who repeats his jokes, louder than the first time, because he didn’t get a solid reaction with his first attempt.
    Best/worst line: “I always wondered what happened to Ray.” <== When is it too soon to imply that a disabled and deceased music legend actually went blind by masturbating? Oh yeah. It's always too soon for that.

  • galleryCat says:

    Yeah because teenage boys are known for stopping after one donut. I can’t even stop after one donut …and what about donut holes and the oh so sexy eclair?

  • Joe says:

    “Yeah because teenage boys are known for stopping after one donut.” Teenage boys don’t stop after one donut because there are plenty of donuts to go around. And who are providing the donuts – let me guess – teenage girls?