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jesus pictures of the day

“If you eat of my whole grain, you will never get hungry again. And you’ll poop!” -Jesus
 
This isn’t Jesus! It’s Shaka Zulu.

Uh… wow. I think this one might be from Shaka Zulu, too. Or at least, a part of it is…

“After you finish making his head bigger, can you help me get back to Kansas? I just want to go home to Kansas. Perhaps before the witch returns?” –Girl on the left.
“And after you’re done with her, can I sing ‘My Heart Will Go On’ for you?” –Celine, in the back
“You can sing it for me. I’ve never heard that song.” Amish woman holding Celine

“Do you like it when I poke your eyeball?” Jesus

“No. Because You will take my alms and buy beer and drugs with it! I know you will. I’m Jesus!! But I will pat your head like this.”
 
“Cut! Okay people, can we try this again? And this time I want the cross to be brighter!”
 


“Listen woman, this game has to stop! I’m supposed to be about my FATHER’s business! Are you my father? No.”

“Snap.” -Jesus doing a catwalk 

“Looks like it’s really finished this time! Now, where’s my pink robe and my American Red Cross flag.”  -Jesus

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Matthew Paul Turner

Author Matthew Paul Turner

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