For the Christians who believe in “the rapture,” have you given any thought to what you will do with the pets you leave behind?
Well, a group of kind, animal-loving atheists are here to help!
The group works under the name Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA, and there are representatives in 22 states!
What services do these helpful atheists provide? A good loving “post-rapture” home for your furry friends. You don’t want your beloved pets to go through the Tribulation all alone, do you? Of course you don’t! And neither do the atheists.
As soon as you are taken away from earth in a twinkling of an eye, the atheists will run right over to your home and rescue the cats, dogs, and birds that Jesus leaves behind.
Do you have any more questions? Check out their F.A.Q.:
Q: Is this a Joke?
A: No. This is a serious offer to our Christian friends who believe in the Second Coming and honestly care about the future of their pets after the Rapture occurs.
Q: Do YOU believe in the Rapture.
A: As atheists we do not hold beliefs in the supernatural or a divine being. Thus, we do not believe in the Rapture. However, we respect the beliefs of others and are open to the possibility that our perspective could possibly be wrong.
Q: How do you ensure your representatives won’t be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don’t ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with
Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.
Q: Can I meet or communicate with my rescue representative?
A: Sorry, No. Our representatives’ information are held in strict confidence.
Q: Can I be sure my name and information won’t be misused or circulated?
A: We hold all information in complete confidence. Your name, street address, and email info are held only in the EE-BP data base. They are not provided to the respective rescue representative unless and until the Rapture actually occurs. Only the state, town , type and number of pets are known in advance to the rescue representatives for advanced logistical planning purposes.
Q: How can we trust that you’ll honor your service agreement, after all, you ARE atheists.
A: Being an atheist does not mean we lack morals or ethics. It just means we don’t believe in God or gods. All of our representatives are normal folks who love and live for their family, are gainfully employed, and have friends of varying beliefs. Some of us are married to believers. Many of us volunteer our time at food banks, animal shelters, meals on wheels organizations, etc. We fully endorse the “Rule of Reciprocity”, also known as “The Golden Rule.” We just happen not to believe in God(s).
Q: Will your representatives personally care for the rescued pets?
A: Yes. Some of our rescuers have the room and facilities to accommodate a very significant number of additional pets. Others can accommodate fewer. We will manage our number of subscribers to ensure that no pets will be overlooked, left out, or subjected to less than optimal care. Eternal Earth-Bound Pets will also coordinate with our member rescuers in adjacent states/regions to balance the pet load where necessary. All pets will live in loving homes, not in animal shelters or pet “mills”.
Q: When the Rapture occurs, how long before my pet is rescued?
A: The timing is contingent on the number of subscribers we have in each state/region and travel distance. Our rescuers know that this is a time sensitive service. Pets’ lives are at stake. We will limit the number of subscribers in each zone so that any given rescuer will not be over burdened. Naturally, we must anticipate that there will be widespread chaos and confusion immediately following the Rapture that could impact travel times. Thus, we are targeting a maximum of between 18- 24 hours from realization of the Rapture, to animal rescue.
Q: If my pet has special needs, can you accommodate them?
A: Yes. Our contract form includes room for specific care instructions, medications/dosages, preferred foods, even any favored pet toys that should be brought from your home to your pets new home. While we expect most animals to be stressed because of your absence etc., we do ask that if your pet is prone to aggressive behavior that you note this on the form so we can take precautions to ensure the rescuers and your pet’s safety.
Q: What if one of my family members are left behind. Will you still take possession of my pet?
A: That depends. When the rescuer arrives, if your loved one wants to retain posses ion of the pet, the pet stays in the home. We expect in these circumstances that the pet will offer the family member some comfort and stability given the trauma of what has occurred. If the family member prefers, we will adopt the pet per our contract.
Do you have any furry loved-ones that will get let behind? Do you believe in the rapture?
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I believe in the rapture – I am a pre-tribber 🙂 Get all the Christians out of the way first. I haven’t really thought about my 2 cata (Sugar and Ella), my 3 gerbils (Kelly, Brenda and Donna) and my turtle Shells. I guess I think God will rapture them too 🙂
Maybe I am naive- but I firmly believe that my dogs that have already died and the one I have now will be in Heaven with me. I think it is hillarious that something like this exist.
just when I thought I’d heard of everything.
Not really sure if the Rapture is going to happen like so many believe, if it does at all, but putting my loved pets in the hands of atheists who are going to be going through the Tribulations afterward would be a moot point. What’s to prevent my “representative” from being involved in a crash of the plane, train, bus, or any other suddenly unmanned vehicle in which they may be riding? Going by the Left Behind interpretations of post Rapture events, I think the only recourse any Christian should have is to put it in the hands of God. Post Rapture converts will probably have their hands full, but I’m sure some enterprising soul will take my cat in, if the Rapture actually does happen…
Needless to say, I’m not going to worry about it. Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll spend my money on something a little more worthwhile.
Jeez. I wonder if anybody’s signed up for this. Do you know if anybody has?
I feel like they’re just kind of mocking Christians with this. I do believe in the rapture but I don’t think they’re going to be able to fulfill their end of this “contract.” It’s going to be much too traumatic for that.
This comment is related “a la carte”…
Will my pet be in heaven?
Hey, know what’d be really cool? If people went by what the bible actually says and/or doesn’t say rather than opinion and speculation, as is our societal custom. Did Jesus come to redeem all the dogs, cats, hamsters and goldfish who were lost in their sin? Seriously. Follow that thought through and you should be able to come to a sensible and accurate conclusion as to whether animals even have an eternal soul that can be redeemed. (Do All Dogs Go To Heaven?) What’s scarier to me is the fact that that’s even a point of contention in the church.
Hello all.
And thank you Matthew for discussing my site, Eternal Earth-Bound pets.
Allow me to answer a few questions and respond to a few comments above.
– We are not mocking your belief. We are simply offering a service we have the infrastructure and every intent to honor should the rapture occur.
– Yes… we have paying clients for our service.
– Pets going to heaven is non-scriptural. It’s feel good theology. As for leaving your pet in “God’s hands”, the animals during the mythical “Flood” didn’t fare too well being left in God’s hands. And they were innocent creatures… millions of them.
– and finally, just a thought: Christian doctrine says that without belief in Jesus as saviour one is destined for eteral punishment in hell. That means that Jonas Salk, Einstein, Ghandi, Anne Frank, etc, etc., etc., fully 2/3rds of the population of the planet, burn in Hell for an eternity. It’s already a doctrine of exclusivity and intolerance. How much more so would that doctrine be hiddeously obscene if your pet gerbil and pet quid “Nemo” go to heaven, but those I mentioned above are tortuted for an eternity because they held different or no belief. I would have a hard time trying to think of a more dispicable doctrine. But hey… whatever makes one feel warm and fuzzy.
At any rate, we stand ready to provide some peace of mind for a mere $11.00 per year. And for Matthew’s and Jason Boyett’s readership, a second ten year renewal would be provided at 30% off our list price.
Do not wait till Dec 21 2012 to make your decision. It could be too late by then.
Best regards,
Bart
co-founder of EE-BP.com
author of “The Atheist Camel Chronicles”
I believe the rapture will occur after the tribulation (according to scripture all throughout the Bible, i.e. Daniel, Matthew 24, 2 Thessalonians 1) which means our pets won’t be left behind.
Also, animals don’t have souls, so they don’t go to heaven or hell. Sorry…”all dogs to heaven” isn’t biblical.
This is one of the most wonderfully bizarre business ideas I’ve ever heard of. You cheeky athiest, I think I love you…only wish I would have come up with this money-making idea myself.
Brilliant!
Kclinger: If you google “rapture tribulation” you will see that believers in the rapture have three distinct interpretations
1- pre rapture tribulation
2- simultaneous tribulation / rapture
3-post rapture tribulation
Then there are those Christian denominations that reject this new concept altogether
The concept of rapture is an 18th cenury invention, and is not cited in the scripture. It too is “not biblical”. Naturally, interpretation of verse can be read to support any new doctrine, it’s done all the time.
One should be very circumspect about a doctrine that hasn’t been taught by any denomination/sect of Christianity in over 1800 centuries. But…to each ones own.
JB: Right back at ya!! xxx
Jason: Thank you.
Was it 18th century? Stink. I twittered that it was 19th century… 🙂
” The concept of the rapture, in connection with premillennialism, was expressed by the American Puritan father and son Increase and Cotton Mather. They held to the idea that believers would be caught up in the air, followed by judgments on the earth and then the millennium. [4][5] The term rapture was used by Philip Doddridge (1738) and John Gill (1748) in their New Testament commentaries, with the idea that believers would be caught up prior to judgment on the earth and Jesus’ Second Coming. The concept of a pretribulation rapture was articulated by Baptist Morgan Edwards in an essay published in 1788 in Philadelphia.[6]”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture
Thus, 18th century. The PRE- tribulation rapture concept started in 1830. That’s the doctrine that Kc rejects / objects to.
Matthew,
note the confusion between 1788 and 1830 pre-tribulation evolution. There is some discrepancy. You can find support for both
Bart
I’m thinking the same thing I thought about the Flobee, the Pet Rock and the Slap Chop…
why didn’t I think of that?
The entrepreneurial spirit remains strong.
Chuck Misler has a brilliant 2 part series on the Rapture.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4157655551677207064#
I’m so glad my old views on The Rapture were raptured out of my head a good decade ago. Good riddance!
Bart, not all of us believe Ghandi is burning in hell for eternity. (In fact, at my parish, he’s in the litany of the saints on All Saints Day.) Or that you will either, for that matter. I love your spirit about all this! It’s refreshing not to be automatically thought of as an idiot for my beliefs. (I’m sure you get tired of that too!)
My cat Miles appreciates the thought anyway though!
lisa
Lisa,
My best to Miles.
I am curious: to what Christian denomination do you belong that does not place all non-Christians in Hell? If scripture says that the only way to the Father is through the Son, certainly there can be no interpretation of heavenly reward. Where is the escape clause for Ghandi? And does that postition hold true for all Non-Christians?
While I understand that among some 2800+ Christian sects and denomiations there is a variance of opinion on biblical interpretation, I was unaware that there is a sect that has adopted anything less than the traditional hideous punishment for non-believers / other religions.
Bart
Another athiest set up a site where you can write cards that will be sent to your loved ones after the rapture occurs: The Post-Rapture Post. (A news article is here).
And how could I post anything Rapture-related with giving a plug for Peter Rollins tract entitled “The Rapture”?
I’m a liberal Catholic, Bart, that’s part of a liberal parish in a very conservative diocese. One of our priests is a Jesuit, so there you go. I would be called, disparagingly so, a “Cafeteria Catholic” by the same people who don’t choose to pay any mind to the Pope or our bishops when it comes to the wars we find ourselves in or the current healthcare situation. All part of being human I guess.
There are those in Protestantism that don’t take a shine to eternal torment either. The book that changed my thinking regarding this is by a professor of religion at Univ. of Oregon. His name is Thomas Talbot (educated at Fuller Seminary, rather conservative) and the book is called The Inescapable Love of God. He uses a very scriptural approach, as well as a philosophical one, and makes a very tidy case (at least to my estimation which probably doesn’t count for much!) for a God whose love ultimately knows no boundaries. The name for this doctrine is called Universal Reconciliation, which differs a bit from straight-up universalism.
Cheers to you.
lisa
Lisa,
Ak..ok. Thanks for that.
I imagine that evangelicals and a large portion of the christian community, including catholics, consider that interpretation heretical… not to mention a blow to economic recovery.
After all, if no one goes to Hell, doesn’t that lower the property values there, and put Satan’s minions out of work?
😉
Regards,
Bart
True about heretical in some churches. Thank goodness a few of the early Church fathers back us up, although you’re right, it’s not the Catholic “norm.” Thankfully, it’s a big tent.
From what I’ve seen, “Satan’s minions” are more than happy to make us not just physically, but mentally and spiritually miserable right here in the neighborhood as long as they can. Love wins though. And you’re right, that’s hell on the property values for sure! (And it isn’t so good for fear-mongering and the need to control people either.)
lisa
Lisa,
Well, you obviously aren’t good for my rapture business, but I must say I find your theology a pleasant change of pace.
thks.
Bart
I only have a couple questions for the atheists who participate this organization. You said in your Q&A section that you are open to the possibility that your belief may be wrong. My question is, wouldn’t you rather believe in a god and be wrong and die,than believe in no god and go to hell when you die? Wouldn’t you rather be on the safe side?
Another thing that puzzles me is if you believe in no god, then why would you spend your time on a website, let alone an organization that largely has to do with the religious belief of Christians?
Also, if the rapture does take place while you are living, wouldn’t that be proof enough that the Christian’s God does exist? would you focus then on your own salvation?
Lastly,I would like to thank you for keeping an open mind about the possibility of tribulation and respecting the Christian’s belief system and their pets.
I know that horses will be involved in the return of Christ.
I’ve also seen God do miricles for animals after having an innercity children’s church (unoffical animal rescue, healing center) Children drug in every helpless abandoned sick animal known to man.Our mascot dog was called the Miricle Dog. She lived to be 17. Posisened twice, ran over once, stolen once, returned home from over 20 miles away. I know God brought her home. I do not ever argue the rapture with anyone my idea is to live and follow jesus as though he were returning today. I’ve seen so much love in these children thru the years and seen so many of their prayers answered because of the pure love and faith the father knows they have. Faith does work by Love. If not we would go around zapping people at times. God was smart enough to connect the two. Sorry he has given me dreams about priest and preachers leading people to Hell. I know its real and that he wants no one to go their. Just read his word, ask him to reveal himself to you. and ask the Holy Spirit to be your teacher. Please? He’ll answer you. Much Love After dealing with prostitutes etc., I never saw one conversion over a fear of Hell, I saw many over God’s Love coming through loving Christians who endured with some of the people ( I mean yrs. not mins.)
Molly,
The first question you pose is called “Pascal’s Wager”, attributed to Blaise Pascal 17th century mathematician and philosopher. It has been blunted for the past 300 years and thus rarely even proffered anymore by theists. Three of my favorite retorts to it are these:
1)What if the god you worship is the wrong god. Then everytime you pray you make the real god madder and madder.
2) There have been thousands of gods invented by man for thousands of years. There are also untold numbers/infinite possibiities of a god/ gods existing man has ever conceived of. Therefore, the odds of your actually worshipping the correct god are miniscule. (refer to number 1 above).
3) if a god existed who gave man the ability to reason, to develope the scientific method, to use his senses to evaluate and mind to logic, I’d proffer he’d have more respect for an atheist who refused to believe blindly than he would for a blindly following believer.
As to “why not just believe”, you are asking a freethinker to just divest himself of 300 years of scientific discovery (the scientific age) and all it has taught mankind; abandon acceptance of reality, respect for science, understanding of natural laws… abandon it, and just believe in the unseeable, unprovable, unbelieveable which has no more evidence for existenece than any other god man has created.
You may as well ask us to just believe in gnomes, Shiva, or werewolves. It just doesn’t work that way. There is as much evidence for those mythical creatures as there is for your God.
It would be tantamount to my suggesting you just abandon your Judeo- Christian concept of God and become a polytheist . Afterall it will increase your chances of worshipping the correct god by a considerable amount. Can’t do it , huh? Exactly.
As for why do I spend time here, or any blog that discusses religion/Christianity? For exactly the opposite reason you do not spend time in secular websites / atheist blogs /scientific websites (i’m hypothesizing of course with a reasonable degree of likelihood). Because I possess a curiosity and desire to expand my understanding of people, doctrines, ideas, theories, etc. I am a “student” of psychology, albeit long past university. I am a collector of religious platitudes, interested in various interpretations of scripture, and enjoy apologetics debate.
In short, I have intellectual curiosity.
Finally, yep! If the rapture were to happen I would happily admit I was wrong. But too late to worry about salavation at that point given Mark3:29.
Similarly, if I am abducted by aliens and anally probed (toward which it seems they have a propensity according to a number of so called “abductees”) then I would believe in alien proctologist abductions too. Yes, it would be convincing, if not undeniable. Nothing says “real” like reality.
So, since we have established that I am open to belief given irrefutable objective evidence, let me ask YOU Molly… what would it take for you to NOT believe in the supernatural since one cannot prove something doesn’t exist for which there is no evidence of it’s existence.
All you have is the lack of evidence. So unlike me accepting things based on evidence, you can never be given evidence of “no god/gods”. Only the lack of evidence testifys to it’s / their non-existence.
Anyway, hope I answered your questions. My fingers hurt 🙂
Regards,
Bart
If anyone wants a pre-Halloween shock that is quite rapturous, here it is. All you need do is venture close to your own Google engine and type in “Famous Rapture Watchers – Addendum,” “Pretrib Rapture Diehards,” “X-Raying Margaret,” “Pretrib Hypocrisy,” “Thomas Ice (Bloopers),” “Deceiving and Being Deceived” (the one by D.M.), and (if you’re still awake) “Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty.” BOO! Ginger
Welcome to endtime Laodicea where creatures that are created are elevated higher than the Creator. Only in Mystery, Babylon the Great – er, America! Robin