angie and todd

For more than a year now, many of you have followed the story of my friends Angie and Todd and their sweet little girl Audrey Caroline.

It’s hard to believe that a year has gone by since that beautiful little red-headed baby came into this world and so quickly left us.

The memory of that day is still painful. So many of the questions we had/have still go unanswered.

That’s one of the reasons why I believe in the resurrection story: the one about God bringing hope into the world. Hope for each of us. Hope for every person who walks on this planet. Hope for the living and the dead. And hope for the unanswered questions.

Not answers. Hope.

I must admit though, that sometimes the story of hope is difficult to believe. It’s living through experiences like Audrey’s that make me doubt it.

But that’s faith. For a long time, I didn’t think that doubt and uncertainty had any place within a person’s pursuit of faith.

I was wrong. Immature. Misguided.

I’m not sure that faith can truly exist without doubt. Doubt is what makes it faith and not science.

Faith was never meant to be perfect or explained away with a sermon series.

So today, one year after losing little Audrey, I resist my temptation to make faith into something that fits on a page or blog or in a book. I refuse to allow one question destroy it. But too, I won’t let the fear of asking that question define it either.

Rest in peace, Audrey Caroline Smith. We miss you.

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