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a little explanation…

By August 5, 2008Blog

For those of you who have read my blog for a while now, you know that some of my posts are a bit controversial (not to everybody, but to some of my readers) and on occasion receive a fair share of criticism. I don’t usually shy away from criticism. I rarely censor an individual’s comments or opinions. And I think only twice have I deleted a post because it was creating unnecessary drama. I kind of like a little drama. Ask my wife and friends. To me, a blog is supposed to create dialog, whether it’s dialog that supports my idea or opinion or contradicts it. In other words, I don’t have a problem with somebody telling me I’m off my rocker for not liking the music of Third Day.

I completely understand that we all have opinions, and if somebody LOVES Third Day, they have every right to voice their thoughts on a blog post that criticizes one of their favorite bands. Again, it’s a conversation. It’s my hope that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. That’s hard to do sometimes. But I think it should be the goal. This is after all, just a blog.

When I posted the follow up piece about Third Day’s album cover looking very similar to Radiohead’s “Hail To the Thief” album, it was very late and I posted quickly. Within the post, I used two words that some people don’t believe a “Christian” should use. I respect that. When somebody challenged me on my use of “colorful” language, I didn’t mind the criticism, the advice, or people making their opinions known to me.

But as I was in the middle of a photo shoot with my son, I received a comment from a blog reader that was so over the top and ridiculous, that I deleted it. Her words had little to do with the post in question and more about me personally. I don’t usually mind when people offer their criticism about me, even if it’s a little personal. I mean, it’s not like I jump up and down and get all excited. I’m human. It certainly stings. But since I can dish it out–and most of you know I can–I need to be able to take it too. And I know that. But sometimes a blog commenter goes just a little far–and in my opinion, the comment I deleted did… and since it’s my blog, I chose to delete the comment.

Believe it or not, I don’t go out of my way to offend you. I really don’t. I just try to offer my opinions about some things, and I try to be funny. Sometimes I try too hard and that shows. Other times, I go a little over the top. But that’s why my books have editors. They are smarter than me, and are much better at “thinking” through the stuff that I write.

Unfortunately, they don’t edit my blog. Maybe they should.

Anyway, I just felt like I needed to explain my decision for deleting a comment and the post, especially to those of you who have read my blog for a while now. I hate censorship. It’s my desire to let everyone who is kind enough to read my blog on a regular basis to be able to share their opinions.

I’ll shut up now. I appreciate each of you. Well, if I’m honest, I’m a little irritated with one of you. But the rest of you, I really do value you and your thoughts… OK, I’m really done now.

Thanks for reading this rant… and thanks also for your kind words about the prelude to ‘churched.’

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Matthew Paul Turner

Author Matthew Paul Turner

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Join the discussion 27 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    My husband and I have been reading your blog for a little over a month now and we are both enjoying it greatly. He actually is the one that “aim” you yesterday (if you remember). We enjoy your style of humor 🙂
    Thanks, Dana and Tony -Bham p.s. Elias is a doll!

  • Sara says:

    I remember seeing that blog of the covers, but don’t remember any off-color words. That may, of course, be because I’ve been known to rattle off a few myself. (Yep, it’s that heathen thing again.) I’ve only been writing a blog for a few months now, and have tried really hard to “watch my words” but I also figure that I am who I am and hopefully that’s enough.

    Who you are is enough, and I’m sorry that people got personal. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your blog, have found Pete Wilson’s blog through yours, and find myself continually blessed by both. So keep being you… cuz selfishly, it entertains me! 🙂

    sara
    http://www.gitzengirl.blogspot.com

  • supersimbo says:

    Matthew, i love your honesty and occasionally i have read a post here and gasped at how brash you can be BUT that said i love that you say the things i would often love to say on my blog. You are authentic and not afraid to display that for all to see…………..its evident that doing so will attract criticism.

    On a slightly less important note, you took away my blog link? boohoo

  • @SuperSimbo: I didn’t do that on purpose man… I lost all of my blog friends the other day when I tried to make changes to my blog… it didn’t work out too well… so email me your blog link again and I will try and add it ASAP… thanks man.

  • Shelby says:

    Matthew, I appreciate the transparent way you blog. You are sharing your thoughts, ideas, & opinions and allow others the freedom to express theirs. Your funny & honest and yes brash from tiem to time, but I prefer a real person to a “perfect” one or a phoney one or one that never challenges me to think and plus your just funny. I suspect, though, that now that you are a parent, you might be a little more emotional to the words of others. Kids bring out all kinds of emotions and a new level of vulnerability. Good luck with your book. It looks great! Shelby

  • Anonymous says:

    Matthew,

    I have been reading your blog for about a month – I learned of it from Jessica’s (which I got to from angie’s). I currently live in your home state – MD. I have enjoyed your blog and cannot wait to read some of your published books – especially churched!
    I am a stay-at-home mom of a 5 year old (soon going to Kindergarten) and 11 month old twin boys – your blog gives me a chuckle and laughter in my baby-centered day!
    Thanks for being so open, opinionated, caring and sharing your thoughts with us!
    Shelley (from MD 🙂 )

  • I read on a blog one time “If you don’t like what I have to say, stop visiting my blog and go write your own” :)! heheheheheheheh

    Honestly, I agree with all of the above. I am very much enjoying your blog! Stay true to yourself. If those two words offended a person, I wonder what they think of someone who harshly judges others?!

  • Anonymous says:

    Hey Matthew – I think you should repost that deleted blog entry, and if someone was offended, then they can find another blog to read. Repost it and stick to your guns! You have no reason to censor or apologize for your opinions on YOUR OWN blog.
    NB

  • Yeah, actually, a blog is so “personal” it’s an extension of self. I feel like my blog is part of me, my home, my life, where I write what I think and feel. Why would someone come in to my personal space and judge me for what I’ve written. Far to more important things to be doing in life! Just saying……:)!

  • Joy says:

    People need to get the stick out and LAUGH! Seriously!!! We’re Christians, my hubby is a pastor, but guess what?! We slip up sometimes. Okay, scratch that—a LOT! He’s said some colorful words, as have I. Not proud moments but we repent and MOVE ON.

    People need to relax and stop trying to pick the splinter out of your eye. CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?! LOL! Don’t worry about ’em Matthew. If they can’t take it they need to move on and follow some more conservative bloggers who aren’t afraid to have a VOICE! Who said Christians had to be mousy and not speak up?

    HellO?!?!?! Look at PAUL! He offended people all the time. Way to represent Paul, Matthew! Next time someone has something to say, give them a big hearty “THANK YA! I really, truly appreciate that! It means I’m doing what I need to be doing!”

    Sorry… long winded…

  • I’ve been reading your blog for about a month now and I’ve been enjoying it very much, I think I found it through Stuffchristianslike.net or ragamuffinsoul.com.
    What happened with that post and those comments just shows how some “Christians” are just an embarrassment to Christianity and other Christians who truly understand that God looks at the heart and not what’s on the outside. Very unfortunate.
    First, I really like Third Day and when I read the post I just said “whatever” and kept on reading the next post on my feed reader. At one point I thought it was a little bit ‘provocative’ but then I reminded myself that God is way bigger than that and that we need to be open minded. Some people need to get over themselves and that’s it.

    Keep it up!
    http://leounfinished.com

  • Terroni says:

    I’m just glad someone else occasionally wakes up in the morning, looks at what he posted the night before, and thinks, uh…this may not go well.

    It was actually that post that convinced me to add you to my blog-roll. Depending on what kind of traffic you get as a result, you may get to regret it for a long time–something to look forward to.

    Seriously, though, I admire you for just deleting the one comment. There are a few on there now that would tempt me to start passing out brochures for Pharisees Anonymous.

    “Hi. I’m Terroni. And I’m a Pharisee.”
    All together now, “Hi Terroni.”

  • Noelle says:

    I have to agree with some of the above statements.

    It’s YOUR blog and you can write what you want. There are some words that should probably not be on here because they can be so offensive to some – but other words which are heard on TV all the time – there are times when christians like us who are pretty “straight” use those words to make a point.

    Back to the reason I commented – it’s YOUR blog – Write what you want – if poeple don’t like it – they can stop reading.

  • kathy says:

    Hmmm…yes, Pharisees anonymous.
    I read the post and can’t remember the “offensive” words specifically at the moment, but I do remeber while reading thinking, “hmmm,might raise an eyebrow…” but you know what? My reaction was almost a sense of relief that there is actually another Christian out there who may let a strong word slip every once in awhile and it doesn’t diminish our love for Jesus. We are human, after all. As a matter of fact, while at the dentist today I got some not so great news…I need two gum grafts. I was not happy. I allowed myself to comment in french. Somehow the word didn’t sound so bad in french…
    I appreciate, no, LOVE, your honesty. I believe that by actually being authentic and transparent those who are not yet Christians, or who are skeptical (I had someone ask me today if I would do that “pray thing I do” for them)are more receptive if they don’t think we think too highly of ourselves or are self righteous. I can’t remember where I heard the message but a part of it was that if we weren’t regularly offending someone with our faith (OK,maybe offending is a bit stron, but at least making them uncomfortable, or making them think…) perhaps we weren’t such great disciples…
    I am all for truth and transparency. It is what I have titled my blog 🙂 As a friend of mine has said to me, “I enjoy reading your blog, it makes me feel normal.” SO be true to yourself. I love,LOVE reading your blog. And I can’t wait to read your next book. Very exciting. I think you’ve made the big time. No more second fiddle to Melody Carlson at ICRS:)

  • Darlene R. says:

    Hey Matthew! I just want to tell you that I love your blog and I even have you on my bloglines account so that I don’t miss a post. Unfortunately, I have been busy doing the mommy thing and actually DID miss the post that you are talking about. Sooo, you haven’t offended me at all! 🙂
    Okay, I just went back and read what I just wrote and it sounds as if I think being a mom is unfortunate! I LOVE BEING A MOM AND DOING THE MOMMY THING! Just wanted to clear that up!

    Anyway, you’re awesome.

    I was reading Angie’s blog the other day and read that Kate had been questioning her about the word “crap”. Tell the truth now, did she learn that from you? ;)jk

    Oh, and one more thing, I LOVE the video updates on the baby! He’s a looker!

    Darlene

  • machoo says:

    Your decision to delete shows your sincerity as I have known you to always demonstrate.
    Though I think your post was great, I understand your heart.

    But some encouragement for you….I think it was John Lennon who said that the more real you become, the crazier its going to get.

  • Anonymous says:

    Man! I can’t believe I missed that post!! Dang it! I have been reading your blog for just a few weeks and love it! And the ONE post I miss causes all this? 🙂 Thanks for being REAL, I’m still learning, unlearning and relearning, ya know? There’s a whole lot of “not exactly the whole truth” stuff out there. It’s nice to know others are tired of it, too. Can’t wait to read more.

  • sarah bridges says:

    i don’t think i am the girl who upset you this much since my comment doesn’t appear to have been deleted, but i need to apologize. reading back my comments, i sound like i think i am perfect, and i came across as incredibly judgmental. i am sorry to have lost the humility that is crucial for Christians to have as we interact with one another. i should have simply stopped reading if i didn’t like what i read, and never have let you know. i reacted out of some experiences i’ve had with Christians this week that have left me utterly disappointed in the way many of us represent Jesus, and in my response, i in turn did a terrible job of representing the Ultimate Forgiver and Giver of mercy.

  • b/ says:

    Looks like a lot of people have blown sunshine at you. That always feels good.

    I too have enjoyed the post and thought you were spot on yesterday. In fact I e-mail my bride with a colorful word and the link because of how fitting I thought it was.

    Why don’t we attach bad meanings to more words anyway? I think I’ll go around being offended by “plethora” from now on. Yep. Every time someone uses the word plethora I’m gonna let them know they are being a bad Christian and that my security as a Believer has been shaken because of how much I respected them and that they would use that word. Sorry for the sarcasm, but they are just words.

  • Michele says:

    BRAVO!!!
    I applaud your strength and your decision to remove the comment.
    I love all your posts and if I do not agree with what you say from time to time- NO BIG DEAL!
    I love Third Day- you do not- NO BIG DEAL! Anyway I loved the pics of Elias. You have a beautiful family. Keep up the good work Matthew and remember people are people. And what is the phrase- Oh one is born every minute. LOL LOL
    Have a great day.
    Michele

  • LOL, Oh man Darlene that was funny! I read about that on Angie’s blog too!

  • Pam says:

    I love to read your blog – I don’t always agree with you (I LOVE Third Day) – but that doesn’t make me look any less forward to the next day so I can see what you have experienced with the new baby, book coming along, or just life in general. You are so very talented with words and humor – If people are offended by your use of certain words – don’t read the blog anymore. No Christain is perfect (isn’t God great? – we don’t have to be – He loves us anyways!). Keep blogging my day would be boring without it.

  • Matthew,
    hey sorry about yesterday, i guess i was the one who began the topic of the words, and i didnt mean to do that, at all. i want to do nothing but support and love good Christian authors, and you are one of the best, so if i had a hand in all that yesterday, i 100% apologize for it, i was only trying to help. i havent missed a post of yours in months, and will continue to be a dedicated reader/fan. thanks, and once again, sorry for the mess yesterday.

  • Anonymous says:

    Matthew,
    I wasn’t able to read the post you deleted. When I read there was drama, I thought that is too bad. It was your choice to say/do what you wanted. I then thought, isn’t it too bad that it is hard not to judge others or think that we are better than them. I didn’t leave a comment then. I wanted to now, since you felt you needed to explain yourself. I too like several other readers, enjoy reading your blog. May not agree with it all, but enjoy that you are ‘real’, ‘human’, not trying to please others. God loves us all with our imperfections. Blessings, Jen from Cali
    P.S. I’d love to see more pictures of your son! He’s beautiful!

  • So…let me just say this, I am a believer, but my husband is not. He does, however, read EVERY SINGLE one of you posts and has even ordered your book. I think it is your “realness” that has made him respond, and I would like to thank you for that. You just be you becase God uses it for His glory!

  • gerbmom says:

    Personally, I love Third Day.
    And the post did NOT offend me.
    Nor did the language.
    I love the authenticity, vulnerability and transparency of your blog.
    I also enjoy the humor when you call things as you see them. Having been raised in the fundamental, evangelical culture I can relate and laugh at the absurdity of it all.
    Thanks for sharing your point of view with us all – I enjoy your blog and your books!
    Plus – any friend that’s a friend of Eric’s is A-ok in my book!

  • Sarah says:

    Thanks for explaining it all. Love your blog – keep up the dishing it out. 🙂

    S.