If you don’t know who Gloria Copeland is, you must not have Cable Access Channels. Because if you did, you would see her and her husband all over the place on channels somewhere between 46 and 103. You should watch her some time! Once in a while she teaches us how to make biscuits.
But anyway, according to the back-cover copy of her new book… God has a master plan for our lives! (Yay! Is anybody else thinking of the first time they heard Obe One say, “use the force, Luke”? OK, well, I am.)
The back-cover copy continues… It may not seem like God has a master plan, especially when we stumble and fall. (And when we have hemorrhoids or unnecessary hair follicles in strange places.) But we aren’t just accidents of nature that God took pity on. (Of course, not! We’re experiments!) Although it may seem like we’re blindly making our way through this world (Is anybody else feeling sorry sorry for Stevie Wonder right now?), the truth is that God is guiding us all the way. (Like a seeing-eye dog? Or a walking stick? Bifocals? Oh, wait, like a heat-seeking missile!)
But thankfully, Gloria was once just like you and me: Human. It’s true! Read on.
When Gloria and her husband Kenneth were newlyweds in 1962 they had nothing—no money, no long-term plans, and no God. (Poor things. Of course, they did have a Chevy, some Mac-n-Cheese, and couple pair of tube socks, but she doesn’t mention that.) But then Gloria was given a birthday card with a simple inscription: Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. (Jesus, thank you for Hallmark.) And something within her shifted into place. (Ugh. I don’t even want to know.) She shared her thoughts with Ken who at the time was a nonbeliever. But soon the power of God began to work within him as well. (Which I can only imagine included some more “shifting.”) For the first time, they began to connect with God’s Master Plan.
YAY! The force! It’s totally real. I told you!!!
She goes on to say this: God had a plan for Adam and Eve. (Um, which was nudity, and we know how that turned out.) God had a plan for Abraham. (I’m not saying anything about Abraham, he lives in the condo two over from mine.) And God has a plan for every one of us. (Ooh, I hope mine includes nudity!)
Anyway, if you want to buy this book, go here…
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this is exactly what I needed to get me started after a holiday weekend – so funny I called everyone in from their offices to read!
btw, GREAT NEW WEBSITE.
I’ve been following your blog for a month or two now. Just trying to get into blogging myself…
bjbwright.blogspot.com
You crack me up! That was awesome!
thanks ben! i added you to my blog list… and guys, i’m sorry about the weird font things going on in this post… i think it’s a safari thing, and my my firefox is acting like a big baby at the moment…
haha. thanks chris!
Hi there:
I’ve actually been a reader for a while now and I love your stuff, most of the time. I always get a good laugh or something to consider. I’ve also read several of your books. But this is the first time I’ve commented and, I’m sorry it’s not under better circumstances!
I’m not at all trying to make a mountain out a molehill or anything but I have to admit that this post of yours really bugged me. It feels cruel and mean-spirited. I’m sure that’s not how you are in real life. But I’m wondering why there is this need to sensationalise your displeasure? I don’t know GC myself nor have I read this so it isn’t a big deal to me “who” you were aiming at. It just feels very mean-spirited. It bothers me that you would take such a sarcastic poke at a fellow believer…to whom we should show preference. It doesn’t seem very…okay, here’s an old fashioned word for us! …godly. There is a lot to laugh at in life. I just don’t know if pointing fingers at each other and making jokes that are quite so sensational and mean is the best way to do it. KWIM? If you have issues with the book, maybe deal with the content. After all, we should be critical thinkers. But to aim it in such a personal way just didn’t seem cool.
Anyway, I’ll continue to be a reader. I just wanted to say i didn’t think it was good and I didn’t laugh. It kind of made me sad, actually. Have we come to such a pass that it’s more fun to be mean to each other?
Thanks for letting me vent! 😉 Grace and peace on you guys!
Yes it is fun to be mean to each other. That’s what makes us human (or ultra-human like the Copelands)!
And peace be with you.
i don’t think he was being mean.
just some constructive criticism.
and also just because she’s a fellow believer doesn’t mean she deserves special treatment. think about it, if there was more constructive criticism Christians today wouldn’t be so crazy. Like boycotting starbucks for stupid reasons or creating websites saying god hates gay people. Some of these famous pastors are making Christianity seem materialistic. We need the criticism to see how were are kind of straying from what Christianity is really about.
I totally agree we need to be critical thinkers! Absolutely.
it just seemed a bit hostile in tone, that’s all.
As soon as someone, including Christian authors (even Gloria Copeland, I guess) puts something into print it’s open to criticism. I’m thankful for folks like MPT who go out of their way to (hilariously) point out just how ignorant some of the stuff that goes to print bearing the seal of Christianity.
Thanks for keeping it real.
Im so running out to buy this book right along with my copy of the Anarchist cookbook. If you believe that one I’ll let you borrow my subscriptions to Hustler and Playboy too>>>
This is to Sarah:
You can love the sinner and hate the sin. In this case we can love the professed believer and strongly ridicule her false teachings. God is a God of humor and sarcasm just as much as he is a God of love. Agreed with Galatians where it says to prefer one another but at the same time I don’t have to pat her on the back while she misleads millions.
I meant Romans 12:10 not Galatians.
Sometimes I watch Gloria because I like to listen to her accent.
This post cracked me up! I once saw this bumper sticker that said “Dear Lord, please protect me from your followers.” This post reminded me of that! Let me just add that I love Jesus with all of my heart and I am grateful for those who can point out the hypocrisy that many of the “big name” believers teach. I love that you did it in a humorous way!
I do not know if you are a believer or not but if you are you obviously require more spiritual Jedi training as I am positive you are only a beginning padawan learner. Respect for spiritual authority is crucial to growth in the Christian life. It is apparent and obvious you do not know who Gloria Copeland is and who you are. My advice is repent and apologize publicly just as you have ridiculed publicly. What you don’t know can hurt you and it is obvious you don’t know that you should not be playing around with a person of her spiritual caliber and relationship with the Lord. Constructive cristicism is one thing, disrespect is another.
Peace
M.O.D.