I’m giving away 10 autographed copies of my book How To Ruin Your Dating Life. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment that finishes this sentence…
If you want to ruin your dating life…
Send the link to your friends. Send it to your ex-lovers. Send it to your pastor. Enter as many times as you want. I’ll do a drawing on Tuesday and winners will be announced here at my blog on Wednesday!
This could be fun.
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If you want to ruin your dating life…tell the truth.
…get married.
…expect the worst (or the best.)
…slavishly follow “the rules.”
…talk about it with your married friends. (Especially the unhappily married ones who “just want the best for you.”)
…date a pastor.
I’m having way too much fun here! I need to go lock myself up for awhile and give someone else a turn. :^)
I want to win one!!! 🙂
Tattoo a guy’s name on your arm on the first date?
These are great! 🙂
jump out of your date’s moving car for a stray dog. [yes, a girl really did that on one of my dates].
if you want to ruin your dateing life… but the book.
yeah?
much love
xxxxxxxx
Think what they say about dating on TV shows and movies really work and apply them to your relationship.
Well, “anonymous” tried to be funny, but that pesky letter “t” spoiled his plan…
🙂
…move all your stuff into your significant other’s apartment after the 2nd date.
…move in together
…move to Antarctica.
…perfect the art of sarcasm.
(Unless you are dating a satirist in which case your witticisms will not ruin your dating life but propel it over the moon!)
…ask your teenager what he thinks of the guy. (Trust me–this one really works!) :^)
if you want to ruin your dating life…
stalk your love interest and put his picture all over your myspace.
if you want to ruin your dating life…
have your family over when he shows up to pick you up on the first date.
If you want to ruin your dating life…
pick your nose in public
If you want to ruin your dating life…
dress like Mimi from the Drew Carey show.
Ill see you the first week in Oct Matt. I’m going to be at a conference your speaking at.
If you want to ruin your dating life, show up on the first date with the scrapbook you made in anticipation of the date. While he may dig that you scrapbook, a scrapbook before the first date is a little creepy.
if you watnt to ruin your dating life bring a list of wedding planners on the first date…
Bring your parents and introduce them as his new inlaws….
Nicole hinrichs
If you want to ruin your dating life…
have the first date be at a table in the corner of your grandparents’ basement while your extended family looks on and offers tips.
Guaranteed it will feel like the guy is actually on a date with your uncle.
talk endlessly about your ex-bfs/gfs
…discuss all your medical problems on the first date.
…create a long, long list of must-haves…and bring it on dates with you. Always great for dinner conversation!
I didn’t answer properly last time:
If you want to ruin your dating life…stop dating your spouse once you get married.
…do everything the movie “How to lose a guy in 10 days”…even the skinny, hair less dog…and matching plaid outfits!
…name your children on the first date.
if you want to ruin your dating life…
use their name when answering this question, then forward the link on to them.
If you want to ruin your dating life…
keep him waiting
If you want to ruin your dating life…
keep her waiting
…carry around a notebook, writing down things your date says or does…better yet, take along a small tape recorder and make your date repeat things constantly to make sure you have it recorded.
If you want to ruin your dating life…
take endless photos for the scrapbook you are starting about your life together; just happen to be dining at the same place your parents are; or try to force the girl to kiss you when she doesn’t want to (really had a guy in my singles group at church try the last one!)
Sabrina
…date the biggest gossip in church so when you break up with him he’ll spread all the (made up) dirt around and no one else will want to date you.
tell your date all of your complex theological beliefs on the first date.
if you want to ruin your dating life…tell the person you are going out with that you still think there are monsters under your bed.
this isn’t a finisher to the sentence. I can’t think of a funny one and everything I’ve read so far hasn’t been that great, so i don’t wanna make a terrible attempt at being humorous. but i just want to comment on how funny it was that a guy tried to write “buy the book” but instead wrote “but the book”. and the thing that makes it even funnier is that the matthew paul turner mentioned it! HAHAHA
If you want to ruin your dating life….
tell your date that God revealed to you that your first child will become the anti-Christ.
….make sure you remind every first date that God told you that they are “THE ONE”, because God hath anointed this person with fertlility powers to give you seven children!
….keep your mullet.
….walk in public wearing a t-shirt with a dirty slogan (I did this in high school, and that girl never talked to me again!)
If you really want to ruin your dating life….
talk about your plans for a Star Wars wedding!
…make all your dates a “Halo” night complete with Hot Pockets for dinner.
…ask her to pick you up at your parents’ house and have your dad (wearing his favorite stained undershirt and boxers) escort her to your basement apartment, which is tastefully decorated with pentagrams and black candles.
…by all means, wear your favorite chipmunk skull necklace – and tell your date the thrilling story behind its acquisition.
…meet him at the nice restaurant wearing your Wonder Woman costume.
…cut off a lock of his/her hair, and when he/she acts surprised, tell them you only ask for a vial of their blood on the second date. (But for some reason, you don’t have any vials yet.)
…eat with your mouth open, be rude to the waiter/waitress, leave a tract instead of a tip, park in a handicap spot (unless you’re handicapped), flirt with other women…
…introduce yourself as Matthew Paul Turner.
-Sorry Matt
I think Waskey should win a book just because of his sarcasm….
How to Ruin Your First Date….
don’t show up and then give when apologizing mention the name of the other girl/guy you went out with instead….
start the conversation by asking your date about their worst sin ever.
…bring a copy of “How to Ruin Your Dating Life” and flip through it occassionally, making notes and nodding as if they’ve done one of the things listed.
…take her to your regular _fill in the blank_ Anonymous meeting before heading over to Dunkin Donuts for kuality coffee.
…make her run insode to see how long the wait is at Chili’s.
If you want to ruin your dating life:
~go into the first date with expectations.
(Who they are or what the date will be like.)
If you want to ruin your dating life, then fake it.
If you want to ruin your dating life, don’t involve your parents.
…tell her that her sweater looks like a granny blanket.
(not that I ever did that)
Is it too late to enter???
I hope I’m not too late to enter.
meet HER at the nice restaurant wearing your Wonder Woman costume.
Have a nice romantic dinner across the border in New York, then get stopped by border guards and falsley accused of hash possession while your car gets swabbed. Gotta love those border guards.
create an entirely false identity to keep the object of your affection and be sure to include your friends and family in your dillusions as well!
Do I win?