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MORE DATING ADVICE FROM ‘HOW TO RUIN YOUR DATING LIFE’

By September 18, 2007Blog

HOW TO RUIN YOUR DATING LIFE: A Few Simple Rules Regarding Christian Singles’ Groups

Okay, so if you happen to find yourself joining a church singles’ group, do yourself a big favor and follow these rules. Seriously, please do this. I (Matthew) promise that the very essence of your dating career depends on it.

It’s not a hookup joint. That’s not to say hookups won’t happen—and it would actually be awesome if they happened more often—but if you join a Christian singles’ group with the motive of hooking up, may the fake gods of unwanted celibacy fall upon you for many moons. [No, I’m not New Age.]• Resist the temptation to make the group your only friends. Sure, they’re nice people, but you’ll need a little more cultural influence than just them! Trust me, I know that “Sheila” is a nice woman, but if you don’t want to be the next forty-seven-year-old single to be spearheading your yearly “Unmarried Servants’ Fall Retreat,” I suggest you keep your singles’ group attendance on a very tight leash. Or you know that Sheila will be nominating you to replace her when she turns forty-eight.
If your singles’ group is known by an acronym, leave immediately. I’m not trying to make you a stuck-up jerk, but come on, you’ve got a reputation to protect, and attending the FLOCK—Females Living Out Christ’s Kingdom—is only making that more difficult.
Keep it to one “singles” activity a week [maybe two, but only if they’re mission related]. Just trust me on this one, all right?
If you’re a male over the age of thirty and you attend a church singles’ group that’s mostly female and under the age of twenty-three, I hate to break it to you, but everybody thinks you’re creepy. And if you have a mustache or goatee, multiply that creepiness times ten.
If upon joining a church singles’ group, the word single becomes about as tolerable as the words moist, sack, or pianist, you might want to find a new church. Believe it or not, single isn’t a dirty word.
No hooking up on missions trips. You know when the music fades, so will the relationship.

For more information on How To Ruin Your Dating Life, buy the book.

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Matthew Paul Turner

Author Matthew Paul Turner

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