What’s so terrible about spoilers? #WalkingDead #Spoilers

**IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED SUNDAY’S EPISODE OF THE WALKING DEAD, THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS ABOUT THE SHOW AND PERHAPS YOU**

On Sunday night, I was one of the 17.3 million viewers who tuned into AMC’s season 5 premier of The Walking Dead. Like most fans, I thought Sunday’s episode was stunning, perhaps a bit gory but filled with the kind of action and drama we’ve come to expect.

But I knew it was going to be amazing. Because I’d already read a detailed spoiler about what to expect.
And yet, despite knowing what was going to happen, I was still on the edge of my couch for most of the 60 minutes.

In fact, I became so overrun with emotion that I logged onto Twitter and Facebook and posted the word “Carol” with 8 exclamation points and the hashtag #WalkingDead.

If you’ve ever watched Walking Dead and used social media at the same time, you’re likely wondering what the heck I was thinking.

How dare I post the name of a longtime Walking Dead character without using asterisks (C****!!!!!!!!!) or unique privacy settings or a preemptively written apology to Walking Dead fans on the West Coast.

Within seconds, a Walking Dead fan without cable TV was hot on my trail/feed, seriously concerned that my tweet had just spoiled his desire to view Walking Dead unaffected. Soon, his concern was echoed by a small chorus of Walking Dead fanatics, regular people like you and me who, despite being good, reasonable individuals 99.9 percent of the time, turn defensive, passive aggressive, and over zealous on Sunday evenings at 9/8 central during the Walking Dead season because they either live in California or they don’t subscribe to cable television or they are DVRing the episode to watch later or they’re waiting to watch the new season when it releases on Netflix.

Every October for the last five years, these unfortunate people who can’t watch Walking Dead when the rest of us are watching Walking Dead form together unofficially online and police the social media webosphere for those who dare to post updates on Twitter or Facebook about our favorite show. Rather than staying offline, they sabotage our “two-screen experience” with comments like “No spoilers, man!” or “Don’t give anything away!” or “Sheesh. How about a spoiler alert next time?” or “What the hell, dude? I don’t get to watch it until I’m off work at midnight!” Which they seem to think is our fault.

While most television shows inspire a brigade of people who rage against spoilers, Walking Dead’s spoiler police seem to be some of the most impassioned, so filled up with an entitlement for mystery and suspense that they sometimes take their #NoSpoilers crusade far too seriously. Sometimes I swear that the anti-spoiler infantry either forget or don’t know that much—not all—of Walking Dead’s story lines are reworked versions of the graphic novels on which their based. Whatever drives their cause, it gets a bit exhausting sometimes, reading responses from people who hashtag the word “spoiler” with the same fury that other people save for causes against bullying, hatred, and Ann Coulter.

Because seriously, calling my tweet—Carol!!!!!!!! #WalkingDead—a spoiler seems a bit unreasonable. I mean, it’s not like I posted “OMG! Carol just donned herself in zombie blood, created an explosion by shooting a firework into a gas tank, and reunited baby Judith with Rick and Carl. #WomanOfTheYear #WalkingDead”

Yet even when people do tweet or post less obscure updates about Walking Dead, what’s really the big deal? Is a spoiler really going to ruin your viewing experience? Are spoilers some kind of sin against America’s entertainment gods? And if so, whose responsibility is it to ensure that West Coasters, non-cable subscribers, and Netflix users experience an unadulterated episode of Walking Dead? Is it the tweeter’s responsibility or the one who despises spoilers?

I think the answer is obvious, not because I’m certain that I’m right but because I think people tend to be a bit overzealous about their angst toward spoilers. Because honestly, I’m not convinced that the passion is as much about wanting to watch a spoiler-free episode of Walking Dead as it is not being able to watch the show when people in New York City get to watch it.

My suspicions are based on the number of times I’ve received warnings or #NoSpoiler citations for having the audacity to tweet something like: “Wow. Tonight’s Walking Dead was amazing!” According to one individual from somewhere in the Pacific Standard Timezone who challenged me over posting such a tweet, he claimed he was wanted to nip my spoilers in the bud before they started.

My advice? Stay offline. Unfollow me if you think I’m spoiling your zombie fun. Or move to Indiana and we can watch it at the same time.

As Walking Dead fans who have ever tweeted during an episode know, it often doesn’t matter what you post about, any utterance of joy, frustration, heartbreak, or “Look! Morgan’s back!” that’s hashtagged #WalkingDead is likely to inspire the anti-spoiler brigade to surround you like the walkers that gathered around the shack where Tyreese and Judith were hiding.

But that’s okay because we know what happened next, to which I say: Tyreese!!!!!!!! #WalkingDead

It’s fine that people don’t want to be spoiled. But I think they should take responsibility for that themselves and stop policing the Internet for offenders.

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