“Me Jesus. You sheep. I save you good.” -Jesus
OR
“Pantene Pro-V Restoratives give you breakage protection leading salon brands can’t beat! Your locks will be strong, hold their curl, because you’ve got more important things to worry about.” –Jesus doing a shampoo commercial
“We’re taking this picture, Billy. Someday you’ll appreciate good stitching when you see it.” –Boy’s mother taking the photo
Picture taken at Dollywood! It was snapped and sent to me by Jennifer!
“And you didn’t think to bring the ibuprofen?” -Jesus
Herod?
“Betty, was the billboard your idea? Don’t you think we have enough perverts coming to our church?” –Tom, church billboard committee member
“No. No way in hell you’re tempting me to do the hustle, Jesus. I refuse to take credit for disco.” -Satan
“Jesus, can I talk to you? It’s about Gabriel again. Do you know what he’s been telling the other angels? That I sound like a girl when I say ‘hark’ . Do you think I sound like a girl when I say ‘hark’? And you can be honest.” –Geoff, the insecure arch angel…
Jesus with Annie Lennox at a fundraiser.
“Me? A Methodist? God, no.” -Jesus
Satan: See that rock over there?
Jesus: Which rock?
Satan: That big one right there.
Jesus: The one shaped like a matzo ball?
Satan: Yeah. You like matzo balls?
Jesus: I like them in soup.
Satan: I can turn that rock into a matzo ball if you want me to.
Jesus: Nah, I’m good.
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