He’d be a follower of John Piper on Twitter and attend Mark Driscoll’s church in Seattle.
“Sovereignty, people! SOVEREIGNTY! Your opinion doesn’t mean much, does it?”
“Sovereignty, people! SOVEREIGNTY! Your opinion doesn’t mean much, does it?”
He’d be related to Joshua Harris.
“I’d like permission to court your daughter, sir. Oh, you’re welcome to come, too, sir.”
“I’d like permission to court your daughter, sir. Oh, you’re welcome to come, too, sir.”
They’d be writing books together and speaking at Teen Challenge conferences and Miley wouldn’t be showing her tummy and they wouldn’t be relaxing in this icky pose. But Miley’s music would still suck.
“My best friend Jesus says, she’s my home girl Miley.”
“My best friend Jesus says, she’s my home girl Miley.”
He’d be a Messianic Jew
“Jehovah Jireh! My Provider! His grace is sufficient for me, for me, for me!”
“Jehovah Jireh! My Provider! His grace is sufficient for me, for me, for me!”
She’d be…
a) a much better singer
b) dating Chris Tomlin
c) modeling Christian teeshirts
“I’m a freshman at Liberty!”
a) a much better singer
b) dating Chris Tomlin
c) modeling Christian teeshirts
“I’m a freshman at Liberty!”
She’d be the women in charge of organizing next Sunday’s potluck.
“OK, ladies, I need a one more volunteer to bring something with mayonnaise in it.”
“OK, ladies, I need a one more volunteer to bring something with mayonnaise in it.”
He’d be working at Family Christian Stores in the music department.
“Have you ever listened to Bebo Norman? No?! Oh, he is amazing.”
“Have you ever listened to Bebo Norman? No?! Oh, he is amazing.”
She’d be a former porn star saved by the blood of the Lamb.
“Jesus got me to put some clothes on, ya’ll!”
“Jesus got me to put some clothes on, ya’ll!”
He’d be a member of Christian rock band The Afters.
“How would you describe our music? Relevant. Totally Relevant.”
“How would you describe our music? Relevant. Totally Relevant.”
Oh wait. Miss California is a part of Christian culture.
“Well, I personally think Danny or Kris should win.”
“Well, I personally think Danny or Kris should win.”
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Um…you know Susan Boyle is already in Christian culture, as she goes to church in West Lothian where she lives…?
“Danny or Kris should win.” Hilarious, a bunch of people I know don’t want Adam to win, because the other two are christians and Adam is… whatever he is.
Christians want a christian to be an Idol… go figure.
Perhaps you didnt know that Danny and Kris are worship leaders in their churches.
Of course, I know that. But they are not POPULAR because of their worship leading. So uh, you missed the point Anonymous.
I personally think Jon Stewart would be a snarky and witty Christian author who would write books that make us laugh at our own culture. It would be a long list of books that would include titles like, “The Christian Culture Field Guide” and “Bodied: a young mans journey.”
That was laugh out loud funny.
What in the world have we created?
Thanks for using humor to help us see the truth.
Absolutely brilliant and hysterical as always. I love the quips about Taylor Swift.
hilarious! thanks for the laughs.
how do you come up with this stuff?
the taylor swift thing was the best.
you need to come up with some for larry king, oprah, mel gibson, ty pennington (only cuz i wanta see his picture) and spongebob?
i dunno.
the above comment form “dakota” is really me, tam (inprogress) and not my son. as well as the “teary” comment on your mothers day post.
dang kids.
lol, not a Driscoll fan?
GENIUS!!
Haha…the Susan Boyle one was hilarious! Mayonnaise! We have got to have you all over as soon as we get in that stinkin house!
v funny. we must have coffee soon. i need more humor in my life. finish writing.
Funny, sort of. But shouldn’t you get back to making snarky comments about Calvinists and Driscoll? Lord knows we need some more iron sharpening iron around here.
To be fair, TSwift probably wouldn’t be a better singer if she was a Christian artist. But she might write songs about choosing not to get into the pickup trucks that “have a tendency of getting stuck on back roads at night.”
I’ve also heard some Chrisians claim Miley Cyrus as part of “our” culture. After all, she’s already been attacked by other believers for her tweets about Jesus & homosexuality.
Ok.. I have to agree that is a very odd photo of Miley and her dad.
i know i wouldnt want a phot of me and my mother like that.
Hilarious. Thanks for brightening my day.
After checking out your Twitter feed, I’ve come to the conclusion that a Calvinist stole your milk money as a kid. You need to forgive him though, because he didn’t have free will to say “no”.
Keep the snark coming! I feel sharpened more each time I read you!
It’s upsetting to me to see people who feel they have to make fun of people in order to get a laugh. There are plenty of Christian and non-Christian comedians who are thoroughly entertaining without doing this.
It may be funny to laugh at someone else’s kid and say their not good at what they’re doing but would it be so funny if someone was mocking your own?
haha! the John Stewart one was HILARIOUS! the song lyrics………. ahahahaha! well done. 🙂
I’d agree that the Twilight star would be a member of Mars Hill. He already looks the part.
But, he wouldn’t go to the Mother Ship in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle. He’d be going to the location in Forks getting Driscoll’s authoritative word by satellite link-up.
http://www.marshillchurch.org/about