A few weeks ago, Jessica called me on her lunch break. “I have a question to ask you,” she said, “How would you feel if Shark sent us their new Rocket vacuum cleaner?”
There were reasons why Jessica was asking me about my emotional susceptibility to receiving a new vacuum cleaner. For starters, I do most of the vacuuming at our house. Not because Jessica is against vacuuming per se. But because I possess an unnatural affection for vacuuming. I love vacuuming. I’ve loved vacuuming since that time my father bought my mother a brand new Electrolux canister model for her birthday. As soon as I saw the bag of components, I fell in love. And too, as a full time writer who takes meds for ADHD, I found that vacuuming is good clean mindless activity.
Jessica was also calling me because she knows how much I love our current vacuum cleaner, the Dyson DC25. Six years ago when Jessica’s mom bought us a Dyson for Christmas, I thought I’d died and gotten sucked up into heaven. The cyclone suction technology. That wonderful ball that makes turning so easy! And no bags, which was a big deal six years ago.
But before I could answer Jessica’s question, she began rattling off a lengthy list of reasons as to why I should be excited about receiving a Rocket™ for free, which included, “it cleans carpets better than a full-sized Dyson.”
“It cleans better than a Dyson?” My tone was carpeted with sarcasm. “There’s no way that little machine can out-suck my Dyson! Yes, tell them to send it!”