A petition to keep Mark Driscoll from speaking at Liberty University…

Have you seen this? It’s an online petition to stop Mark Driscoll from bringing his circus act to Liberty University’s campus.

Sophia, the online petition’s creator (and blogger at Mars Hill Refuge) writes…

How would your founder Jerry Falwell respond to a preacher who taught this in his writing and speaking?

“In conjunction with the rhythm method of birth control, it is possible to use anal sex as an option.”[1]

“Jesus Christ commands you to [perform oral sex on your husband]….What I would say to you as well, ladies, I probably shouldn’t, that most of your husbands wake up in the morning with an erection, and so rather than setting the alarm, if this was the way that you helped to awaken them, they would have a great day. Amen? I’m actually saying these things. Some of you are sitting here going, “Is this happening? Is this really happening?” Yes it is. [Laughter from audience.]…And he says that, “Your vagina is a garden.” It has wonderful smells and it has wonderful tastes. It’s a garden. . . . He talks about how much he loves her vagina. Many women feel awkward about this. The husband needs to tell the wife, “It’s beautiful. It tastes well. It smells well. You keep yourself well. I enjoy it. It’s a garden to me.”[2]

Here’s what one of Jerry Falwell’s peers, well known Pastor John MacArthur had to say about Mark Driscoll’s teaching.

“It is spiritually tantamount to an act of rape” and “Mark Driscoll has boldly led the parade down this carnal path.”[3]

What would the parents of your students say if they saw this?

What would the pastors who refer students to Liberty say?

What would your donors say if they had to read this?

If you say you aren’t worried about that, then for integrity’s sake immediately post these statements on your website. Your students and those who care about their spiritual welfare deserve fair warning about Driscoll’s penchant to sexualize whatever he can, wherever he can.

Click here to sign the petition asking Liberty University to cancel Mark Driscoll’s upcoming speaking event.

Failure to Drop Driscoll may result in a public protest on the Liberty University campus.

Driscoll, along with his wife Grace, are scheduled to perform their “Real Marriage” skit at Liberty on April 20 and 21.

Sophia’s not the only person who doesn’t want Driscoll appearing on Liberty’s campus.

Author Peter Lumpkins
wrote on his blog yesterday…

Sources say trustees took a vote, and the vote was unanimous indicating that Mark Driscoll is not welcome at Liberty University. In addition to Driscoll’s “potty mouth” approach to pulpit etiquette playing a role in their decision, his “Reformed” theology, Acts 29 Network, and the provocative hedonistic understanding of a___ s__ came up as well (XXX). Trustees were apparently flabbergasted that Driscoll was considered for an invitation in the first place.

By a___ s___, he means “anal sex”…

He goes on to write…

Mark Driscoll has publicly expressed his appreciation and love for the Falwells. Let’s see how deep Driscoll’s appreciation is. Will he needlessly bring even more conflict upon the Falwells by going through with the invitation in the face of unanimous disapproval by the entire board of Liberty trustees? What possible benefit could he gain by remaining on the schedule? On the other hand, he’d likely garner conceivable gains by dropping out…by “disinviting” himself.

Time’s running out. Let’s see if Mark Driscoll is the “man” he ceaselessly claims all men ought to be.

You can sign the petition here.

You can read why Sophia helped to create this petition here.

While I’m a big fan of Sophia and her blog and the community of people she speaks to, I’m not sure this is the best way to combat Driscoll’s act. If the petition had been created by students, it would ring stronger in my opinion. But perhaps Sophia or the petition’s other creators have another connection to Liberty that I am unaware of… I think connection is key in regards to petitions like this.

Your thoughts?


  1. AR says

    I’m just kind of wondering why he’s giving a presentation on sex to college students. Or am I missing something? Is it not going to be given to the students? Sorry, I’m not totally up on this.

    • says

      He is speaking at the convocation which is approximately 10,000 students, and is also doing his Real Marriage conference there. I do not know what he plans to speak about at convocation (service). But he is unpredictable.

      • AR says

        I see. That clears things up. Because if he’s talking to single college students about these things, THAT’S a problem. Certainly those planning to marry should at some point be educated on biblical sexual relations in marriage, but to talk about it the way that is so…detailed…could just get them all riled up and ready to go, ya know? Driscoll would be a stumbler, so to speak.

      • Pawell says

        Convocation?To 10,000 students?
        What kind of blind stewards arranged for that?

        “I know that as soon as I’m gone, vicious wolves are going to show up and rip into this flock, men from your very own ranks twisting words so as to seduce disciples into following them instead of Jesus.” — Acts 20:29-31

  2. says

    Here is our strategy: I met with social justice groups over the past week after news outlets have failed to pick up any of the spiritual abuse stories coming out of Mars Hill church. It’s troubling how Driscoll has a bestselling book on godly marriage while at the same time alarming stories from behind the scenes of his church have been coming out on sites like Jesus Needs New PR and Joyful Exiles. We’ve emailed major papers and news sites to ask them to spotlight the testimonies of insider experiences coming out of Mars Hill, andl the only one who would pick up the story was The Stranger. Not Christianity Today, not any of the Times type papers – no one.
    So to raise curiosity about a problem (emotional and spiritual devastation coming out of Mars Hill church) that we have seen for years in our community and now spreading nationwide as Driscoll’s fame and Acts 29 church network grows, we need to spark curiosity about what is happening behind the scenes. If demand is created then news outlets will cover these devastating stories of people who were once on the inner circle of Mars Hill church. Since Driscoll is a national bestseller and getting lots of media attention we decided to petition Liberty University to rescind their invite for Driscoll to speak on their campus on April 20th. We think that would get the conservatives and fundamentalists engaged as well. Once the truth is brought to light then healing can begin, as any survivor will tell you.

    • says

      Hey Sophia:
      I explained a little of this on Twitter, but feel this might be a better space for discussion. Here’s what I told Stephanie Drury:

      I appreciate the petition and all that (and totally agree that there needs to be a concentrated campaign to get Christian-focused publications [like CT] reporting on these issues), but, the text of the petition is problematic for me. I guess I could say that there’s not enough meat there to really explain why Driscoll is a problematic figure, and it comes across as “Don’t hire him because he talks about sex so much!”

      His response to that sort of thing is (as I’m reluctant to agree) kind of right in that the church doesn’t talk about sex enough. I think there needs to be some sort of statement explaining WHY his sexualization is problematic for the church body as a whole – that it’s reductive, that it’s an unhealthy focus, it stereotypes people and erases many others, etc. As it is, it just reads “TOO MUCH SEX BAD!”

      I mean this criticism in the kindest of ways, as I support the overall mission of making people see that Driscoll is a dangerous personality. It’s just that the petition comes across as the thing that’s bad about him is that he talks about sex, not that he talks about sex and marriage in ways that are unhealthy and damaging, if that makes sense.


      I definitely appreciate the idea of going on the offensive against Driscoll (and agreed that he needs be removed from the national scene), but, I think the objections need to be clarified better.

          • Marcus says

            Stephanie,Anyone who looks into your podcast will laugh at your fake concern over morality or decency and your cause will sink. Stick to hammering away about spiritual abuse.

      • says

        I agree absolutely with this. I read the above and it comes across to me like it’s better to just continue negative ideas about oral and anal sex. Personally, I’ve thought that our understanding of Song of Songs could use some sexing up way before I heard of Driscoll, and was thrilled when Dillow & Pintus came out with Intimate Issues that treats it just that way. Driscoll may be a loud mouth about it, but his views about sex aren’t really all that fringe or new.
        I dunno. The Church already has a crap view of sex. I think Driscoll may be over-correcting a bit, but quite frankly, I think that’s the very lowest of the concerns about his teaching. Posting sex quotes may be shocking enough to get him banned from Liberty, but IMO, that’s the worst possible reason to keep him from that university. Instead, let’s ask him to be shut down because of the really abusive tactics that he uses to keep his congregation in line.

        Adding MORE shame to things like anal and oral sex is not the way that I’d go about this.

        • says

          I agree. Lumping in his thoughts about normal sexuality with his awful command for women to perform oral sex on their husbands or face the wrath of God only perpetuates this idea that rape = sex. I think those are dangerous lines to blur.

      • Lisa says

        I agree, I would have rather seen this petition come at it from the angle of all the problems his teaching has caused as opposed to his views on sex. I’m pretty much exactly in the same boat as you, Dianna. But I like the protesting of him speaking anywhere in general, of course. 😉

      • says

        Dianna, I had the very same response as you. If someone were unaware of the very serious issues of misogyny and bullying coming from MD, they might think this was a petition from One Million Moms objecting to teh dirty dirty sex talk.I do commend the effort and I’m on board with using a method like this to get some media attention.

    • Luke says

      Sorry, I posted my comment below before you posted your response, so I was not able to hear your thoughts. And what you are doing is different than what I was thinking this was. It makes a lot more sense now, and I appreciate what you are doing. Both here and on the Mars Hill Refuge blog. Hanging out mostly in the Emergent-y blog/twitter/fb world, I was not aware how little coverage this had received in the christian world as a whole. I hope this brings about some more awareness.

      • says

        Thanks Luke. Liberty is/was a fundamentalist institution, and so the reason we approached it with what he actually says about sex is because that would concern parents/faculty/alumni and the larger fundamentalist crowd much more than Driscoll’s complimentarian views on gender roles.

    • KatR says

      I think you are giving the media way, way too much credit. They aren’t going to dig that deep. They will frame it as “Liberty University is mad at Mark Driscoll because he talks about sex”. They will also look at this petition and assume that people who left Mars Hill are upset only because Mark Driscoll talks about sex. And his coolness factor with the dude-bro contingent is going to go through the roof.
      I hope I’m wrong about this. I know its incredibly frustrating the degree to which organized Christianity ignores abuse. I’m living that every day. But to act like we are about to hit the fainting couch because Driscoll talks about oral sex, when the real issue is his continued unrestrained spiritual and emotional abuse……I just don’t think its going to work.

    • Zoe says

      Here is the problem: mainstream media is tends to be guided by the following: Interesting, Relevant, Timely. As long as a story is 2/3, it’s worth investigating. If not, it probably won’t publish.
      The Stranger can post about this because Mars Hill is both interesting (spiritual abuse!) and relevant (Seattle-based newspaper). For someone in Kansas, it’s going to mean a lot less. Most of the stories that I have read happened in the past (which these days in a shorter and shorter timeframe) and so fail to meet that standard.

      I don’t have any idea how big the Mars Hill/Acts 29 network is, but I would suggest working on building media contacts in the communities where those exist. Pitch stories–journalists don’t have time to read long, multi-entry blog posts about abuse–they want bullet points. Work on creating those, make a “packet” of some of your most impacting stories, and talk to journalist. Talk about how this abuse can/will impact the community the church is in. It won’t be national (yet) but it will be a lot of local paper in the communities where it will matter the most.

      Doing this prep–especially the bullet points–will be really helpful WHEN a timely story hits. Part of the viral spread of MPT’s story was helped by the fact that it was relatively timely. Spiritual abuse and drama in Driscoll churches is going to keep happening and you want to establish yourselves as THE experts to talk to when it does.

      I say all this (and plenty of it I’m sure you know–sorry for the repeats)–because I really agree with the critiques you’re getting of tis strategy. If anything hits the papers, it WILL be a story about how Christians hate sex and it WILL allow Driscoll to martyr more. You’re helping him by choosing a bad tactic, because this also falsely represents your views to any passerby who doesn’t know the situation (and won’t spend the 5 minutes to investigate) as anti-sex and anti-Mars Hill. For all they know, you left mars Hill churches because of the sex. It’ll undermine your position now AND when that timely story hits, because then you’re not the Spiritual Abuse experts–you’re the anti-sex people.

  3. Luke says

    I agree with you. At first I was thinking this was by students, and the thought of Liberty protesting Driscoll brought a smile on my face. However, I am not sure how I feel about people going on the “offensive” against Driscoll in this way. I think there are good ways it can be done (Rachel Held Evens’ “Driscoll is a Bully” post, for instance), but I also think it can backfire. And might allow him to play the victim card or at least look better in the public eye. However, I also want to see people break free from Mars HIll’s oppressive and abusive ways, and want people to stand up to his controlling ways.
    Curious how this will play out.

    • Tim says

      Yeah, I kind of agree. The problem with these personalities is that they often use manipulation, and they know how to turn on the tears to illicit the compassion of people around them. I’ve watched it numerous times. It’s really rather infuriating.
      I will say, though, that I’m incredibly alarmed by the teaching that was quoted. While I do think that many churches and christians are far too prudish on the topic of sex, this was just wildly over the top and inappropriate. “Jesus commands you to give oral sex??” Wow…

      • AR says

        Question – Has he given scriptural evidence for Jesus commanding women to give men oral sex? I see that he talks of a woman’s “garden,” and that’s not even a COMMAND, but what about the other way around?
        I’m certainly not against it, but I do know some people who are very uncomfortable with it. How much more timid will they become about sex with their spouses if they think they HAVE to do something and if they don’t, it’s essentially sinful?

  4. Melody says

    As much as I dislike Mark Driscoll, I agree that banning him because he might talk about sex is the wrong approach. I mean, sure, it might be awkward, but one reason there’s so much conflict in the church as a whole is the lack of honesty regarding this topic. It’s necessary to discuss. That said, given his history of arrogance and lack of discretion, I have no problem with stopping him speaking.

  5. Jim Henderson says

    Way to go Sophia- others can be highminded but you’ve got boots on the ground! Taking the high road is a waste of time . Fundamentalists don’t give a rip that he’;s a bully or abusive (they minimize that stuff) what shocks them is Sex talk. That’s why this is the best tactic for this crowd – way to lead

    • says

      I would rather waste my time any day of the week than perpetuate negative ideas about sex. Because that conference is in 2 weeks and they are NOT going to back out of the financial commitment that they’ve made for that.

      • says

        But isn’t the “anything to save people” ideology exactly what Driscoll uses? If using fear and emotional manipulation is a bad way to preach the gospel, why is it acceptable in this case?
        Driscoll talks about “success” because he has thousands of people in his church, but we have a problem with that because fear isn’t really an honest success. If Liberty drops Driscoll and the national news decides to cover it, it might be a success, but it’s still not honest. And I find that troubling. It’s troubling when Driscoll uses it and I think it’s just as troubling when it’s used against him.

        • megan says

          I tend to agree with Alise’s comments here and above. I get the idea but I don’t think this is the right way of going about it. Also, as KatR points out above, any media coverage of this is likely to be another entry into “Uptight Christians want to drag discussions on sex back a few hundred years.” We know how they love that story, especially with so many Christians giving them so much ammunition lately with the whole birth control pill debacle.
          And, to be honest, I worry that it ultimately strengthens Driscoll’s position. If Liberty disinvites him because “sex bad!” and he gets to erroneously paint himself, once again, as a lone voice crying in the wilderness for frank discussions of sex…plenty of people are going to eat that up. How many times have I heard that people don’t like Driscoll just because they “can’t handle his honesty”? Oh yeah, that’s totally it. Whatever you say!

  6. HOBO says

    This Cult Leader needs to be banned from the Liberty University Campus as they have done at Seattle University in Seattle. He is not dangerous because he speaks of sex from the pulpit. That is just a technique he uses to attract men and young people. He is dangerous because he is a False Prophet.I am a former Pastor, son of a Pastor, and Grandson of a Pastor in a fundamentalist church, a church which subscribes to many of the Misogynistic practices enjoyed by the “men” of Mars Hill. My former church, like Mars Hill, also practiced the art of destroying people in their congregations who refused to submit to the absolute authority of the church’s self-appointed leaders. They forced members to submit to public rituals of humiliation which serve to enhance the power the leaders have over the lives of the members. The “works” based religiosity practiced by Mark Driscoll and his followers is not original and follows a trend started by weak men centuries ago who need control…control over women, and control over the people around them. I take a personal interest in watching Mr. Driscoll’s progression in his personal dynasty because I have seen the damage his cult has done to one family very close to me. His message to one young woman I know was to drop out of nursing school and care for her home and have lots of children. If Driscoll had his way, girls would not go to school. His brand of Misogyny is very similar to the Taliban. Though this young woman completed school at the urging of her mother, she has chosen to pursue the Mars Hill ideal of having lots of children, not working and forcing her husband to be a “leader” and go make enough money to support the family without her income. We don’t live in a culture where one income can support large families. Mr. Driscoll has yet to explain how this part is supposed to work. He will certainly have an answer to all this and the other critiques of his cult. He always does. Mr. Driscoll also has a group of cult followers who are assigned to go on-line and respond to posts about his cult in very scripted answers. The extent of his organizational response is frightening. As a former theologian, and still a follower of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I see the Driscoll cult for what is is…”The People of the Lie”.. The majority of the members are certainly, well-intentioned Christians, but the leadership are representatives of a power we are to fear. Don’t underestimate his power to harm and destroy families. Jim Jones, David Koresh and many others before them were dismissed as freaks and not addressed until it was too late for their cult followers. Mark Driscoll is not a man of God and does not represent Christianity. Mark Driscoll is a False Prophet.

  7. says

    Yeah, I have no problem with any of the sexual subject matter listed in the petition (aside from the whole ‘Jesus commands’ escalation). Is the Liberty campus sooo Fundamentalist that this would get their attention?
    I’ve read the above comments, and I fully support what Sophia et al are trying to accomplish. Petitioning a university from the outside is more distant that I’m comfortable with, and the language seems to be appealing to the sexual prude in most of Christianity, rather than taking a moral or ethical stance.

  8. mark bent says

    So Driscoll was talking about a vaginas smell in a sermon? Or was it someone else? I’m confused lol.

  9. Don says

    question: where did the quotes above re: Driscoll’s views on anal/oral sex come from? are they from the marriage book he wrote? or an interview? a sermon? just wondering…

  10. says

    This will probably come as no surprise to you Matthew, but I find this petition ridiculous, sad, shameful and borderline deceptive (since the REAL reason you don’t want Mark at Liberty is not disclosed). And I’m not really a fan of his either.

  11. Sarah Beth says

    I’m a student at Liberty. Most students here love Driscoll. I know people that are very excited for the conference. There’s so much marriage pressure around campus that anything that helps people develop healthy marriages should be open to those who want to seek it. Not everyone has to listen to the sex parts.
    For those involved in this: If you hate Driscoll, don’t go to the conference. You don’t have to ruin it for those who want to go.

    I’m going to be straightforward. This is a stupid petition.

    • John says

      Most students at Liberty only know bits and pieces of what Driscoll teaches. Why not stop your idol worship and open your eyes to some of the things he is saying. Dig a little deeper. Don’t just be suckered into the glitz and glamor and the overconfidence.

    • Chris says

      I agree, anything that promotes healthy marriage SHOULD be encouraged.
      Let it sink in….

      Theeeeere it is.

      Oh sorry, I’ll be straighforward too. If you think Driscoll promotes healthy marriage, then you’re severely deluded. Try learning a little bit more about what this man stands for before you look at a shiny poster that says marriage and sex in big letters and go all googly eyed at the cool new pastor. Because quite frankly you don’t seem like the type of girl that would appreciate being told to lead their SO to Jesus by sucking their dick, or repenting for not sucking their dick before.

      Maybe you are, I don’t know.

      Matt, are we allowed to say “suck a dick” here? I have sources…lol

      • AR says

        So he IS going to be talking to the students about sex? Hm. If that’s the case, that makes me nervous. Now, I don’t know exactly what he’d be talking about. I suppose if he kept it high level it might be okay. But if he’s talking about all the things you can do when you’re married and starts getting into details about vaginal smells and how Jesus commands oral sex on a husband (not really, but thanks for playing, Mark), then he’s liable to get these poor kids all riled up and cause them to stumble. That sorta makes him a tease of sorts, methinks.

      • Michael says

        You have implied the author of this comment is deluded. You have also implied a level of ignorance you cannot be certain of; she might simply have a differing opinion than you do. Then you were crass and you assumed this girl was innocent with a pejorative connotation. You are every bit the bully you claim Driscoll to be. You sound smug and you seem to feel power through demeaning those who disagree with you. You are a hypocrite will certainly claim I am hateful. Still, I think you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
        P.S. I’m no Driscoll apologist either. I deeply disagree with his theology and his methods. I simply hope you are capable of re-reading your comment and feeling a bit small for your words. You should offer a workshop regarding seasoned speech.

  12. Leanne says

    Liberty has the right to have whom ever they wish speak at their university. This is not the only special speaker which has been controversial to speak at Liberty.
    I don’t feel the petition, or any petition, is stupid. We all have a right to voice our opinion.

    Unfortunately, as long as people are willing to listen to Pastor Driscoll, buy his books, or book him for a conference/speaking engagement, he is not going anywhere. Or perhaps until people start learning Scripture and how to do better exegesis they will keep listening to Pastor Driscoll.

  13. JD says

    Forget what MD says, what happens behind the scenes of his own church should raise alarm bells. MD is the leader of a cult, people should only look to him as an example of what not to do and who not to be like.

  14. Noelle says

    Back in my day, there were complaints when the student council booked Oliver North to speak. He had a radio show at the time and used us as an example of good conservative kids who want conservative speakers being stifled by our liberal faculty. I had to listen to his broadcast to help my roomie write the article for the school newspaper. Man that guy is obnoxious. And the idea of my Christian college as a dangerous web of liberal professors was ridiculous. I did not go to his talk.
    Let him go. It’s Liberty University, right? Censorship based on what you think is best for young people because you find a personality deplorable is still censorship. And if you do have a complaint, how about something real?
    His views on working women or women pastors or just about anything else is a good start. Reinforcing the false idea that oral sex is bad to get your way isn’t right.

  15. Kate says

    There are a lot of problems with both Driscoll’s and Liberty’s sense of purity and morality. I’m not really all that surprised that they are supportive of one another, but I am 100% behind the campaign to spread awareness of the damage caused by Mark Driscoll. Any battle against his ministry is a worthy battle in my opinion.

      • says

        My understanding of the tweet would be that there are other falsehoods. Peter never stated that Mark wasn’t. So the tweet reads to me. “The post is not accurate.” “Mark is still coming” One tweet, two thoughts.
        The problem here is that no one is quoting sources. Where did Peter get this info from? Even blogs that are saying it isn’t true are leaving sources out.

        Who even knows anymore?

          • says

            The Liberty News article is simply a link to Peter’s. Mater of fact, it was posted a day AFTER Peter’s…
            Unless I’m looking at it wrong.

          • says

            Hmm. Interesting.
            At the end of the day, it’s not a big deal either way. Peter might be incorrect. But that doesn’t change anything about Mark and his crazy.

          • says

            I’ve not commented extensively on your blog, and just tend to disagree (and remain silent) with your views on MD.
            For some reason I felt the need to point out that Peter’s post was a lie. For clarification’s sake perhaps.

            I realize that was the point of this particular post and hope I didn’t sidetrack that!

            Thanks for replying to me!

  16. Don says

    Driscoll’s making it seem as though God is commanding men & women (particularly women) to do these things. do i agree that Christian husbands & wives should be free w/ each other when it comes to sex? absolutely! will that look a little different for each couple? absolutely! but God isn’t commanding women to perform oral sex for their husbands. God isn’t commanding men to masturbate their wives. couples need to talk about these things & figure out what BOTH people are comfortable w/ in their marriage…Mark Driscoll is acting as though couples HAVE to do these things b/c God has commanded it…MD is creepy!

  17. says

    I realize this isn’t necessarily germane to the discussion about the petition, but my husband and I were LAUGHING at the quotes from Mark Driscoll above.
    “Jesus commands you to give your husband a blow job.” “Your vagina is a garden.” Cracking.Up.

  18. Don says

    so if Lumpkin did lie then that’s definitely a problem…it still doesn’t change anything regarding the main reasons this petition went out in the first place! is Liberty going to focus on Lumpkin or Driscoll?

  19. Megan says

    Some Liberty students are so embarrassing… especially the ones that signed the petition. I’m ashamed to go to school with you people.

    • Don says

      i find it interesting & disturbing that you’re ashamed of the students that have signed this petition…you aren’t ashamed of Liberty for having MD come & speak despite the fact that he preaches God commanding things God hasn’t commanded? hhhhmmmmmmmm…

    • John says

      And plus someone who teaches something they think is in the bible but isn’t clearly there as the Word of God rather than personal opinion and imposes it on others is a heretic.

  20. John M. says

    I would oppose his appearance at Liberty (or anywhere else) not for open discussion of sex from the pulpit, but for his apparent belief that women are the property of men and should cater to their every whim. I would also oppose it for his creation of a cult of personality and his abuse of people from his position of pastor. I would not be surprised if word comes out that he has been physically abusing women in his congregation.

  21. Jacob Scott says

    That is an awesome picture of Driscoll at the top…..
    Mark Driscoll: Bible Teacher; Rhinestone Cowboy – YEEEHAAWW!

    I think Furtick and Driscoll should start their own metrosexual gospel centered clothing line.
    They could call it “Armor of God” and stitch the words of Ephesians 6:10 in nondescript places.

    Wait doesn’t God hate metrosexuals?

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